feeling small
for most of my life i've struggled with feeling small. small in the sense that i'm insignificant, weak, vulnerable. a lot of anxiety stems from others having the ability to take advantage of me, but then i take advantage of myself. i feel small when i think of college and careers and all the majors i have to sift through to find one that clicks with my morals and lifestyle. i never give myself a break, i do the best that i can and yet i tell myself it's not enough. i'm so anxious that i'll never find a job that supports me, my ambitions and my future dogs. in a family of doctors and a school of driven individuals, it seems like medical school is the only right path and yet it feels so wrong. it feels wrong to work for such a huge life commitment when i'm not committed in the slightest. when i abandoned the idea of following in my moms footsteps i felt small and without direction. everything i had worked for up to that point, every class and medical workshop